


helo i love yuo

by notquiteaghost



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Not!Fic, character study but for a cat???, jon's beholding powers allowing him to talk to the admiral, mentions of jon/martin and georgie/melanie, non-explicit spoilers up to just before the finale of s3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:35:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22480399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notquiteaghost/pseuds/notquiteaghost
Summary: not!fic featuring: the admiral; jon&georgie friendship; the beholding throwing jon a bone and letting him talk to cats; the admiral: this time he's yelling; georgie/melanie origins; & bad things exclusively happening off-screen. we are on fluff about cats 24/7 lockdown.
Relationships: Georgie Barker & Jonathan Sims, The Admiral & Georgie Barker, The Admiral & Jonathan Sims
Comments: 17
Kudos: 180





	helo i love yuo

**Author's Note:**

> title is from [this tweet](https://twitter.com/thegoodcatboy/status/1211318268402769926) by bilbo the cat. the admiral isn’t so much based on bilbo as bilbo is a very good example of a typical ginger tomcat and the admiral is also a very good example of a typical ginger tomcat. the admiral looks roughly [like this](http://catoftheday.com/archive/2012/December/14.jpg)
> 
> an expanded form of [this post](https://notquiteaghost.tumblr.com/post/184391634561)

  * jon definitely had cats growing up and is the kind of person whose life feels Wrong if he doesn't live with any


  * he says this to georgie offhandedly, one day, when they're living together in a decent flat (as opposed to the Hell House they lived in the previous year with various other uni friends), and both have decent jobs (jon in a small, independent bookshop and georgie as a copyeditor), and in general their lives are Going Good


  * and he's not trying to hint or anything, (or at least not consciously), just, tells a story about the small angry ex-feral his grandmother had who hated everyone, frequently disappeared for days, had to be sedated for basic vet check ups, but would lie on his feet in the evening while he read and purr, so quietly he felt more than heard it


  * and georgie doesn't say anything about getting a cat in that moment either, just tells a story about her own childhood cat's habit of stealing socks and hiding them under cabinets


  * but then a couple days later jon comes home and on their sofa is a tiny ball of orange fluff


  * georgie is sat next to him and she grins and says, “this is the admiral”


  * “where did he… come from?” jon asks, because he knows georgie, and he's having visions of her breaking into the house on the end of their road and just. grabbing a cat.


  * (the house is occupied by an older man who cares for his many, many cats just fine, aside from how he won't spay any of them and it seems like with every passing month another six cats have appeared)


  * “rebecca — she works at the library, you've definitely met — her cat just had a litter. he's ten weeks, he's had his first two shots, she gave me a huge bag of kitten food”


  * “right. and you decided we're getting a kitten…?” “this morning.” “oh, of course.”


  * the admiral is _very_ small, and ginger and long-haired, and he really likes to curl up on them — on georgie's chest while she's on the sofa, on jon's lap when he's reading. his favourite place to sleep very quickly becomes across their shoulders, snug between them and the back of the sofa, like a kitten hood


  * he's very vocal, and has many demands, and you _will_ listen to them. he follows jon round the flat shouting in the evening until jon gives in and goes to bed, and then the admiral lies on top of him and purrs up a storm


  * he's an indoor cat, because jon and georgie live in a third floor flat, and so one of his other frequent demands is for someone to trail a tie along the floor for him to murder (yes, they have bought him many actual cat toys. yes, these are all incredibly boring and all he wants to chase are georgie's shoelaces and jon's ties)


  * he likes marbles, rubber balls, bottle tops and other small things he can bat around the tile in the kitchen, and he especially likes when someone stands at the other end of the kitchen and bats them back. they call it tennis. he always wins


  * if either of them do anything in the kitchen he has to be sitting on the counter to supervise. he doesn't usually care about the actual food (unless it's chicken) but he Has To Know


  * in general he just likes to have his people in his line of sight at all times. if they're in different rooms he'll alternate between them, sometimes with increasing frequency until he's getting up every five minutes very pointedly and narrating his journey angrily, which almost always has the desired effect of them giving up and moving


  * he sits on georgie's lap more often, because if jon's sat on the sofa it's rare he's arranged in such a way to make a lap. often the admiral will sit sideways on georgie's lap and reach out a single paw to rest on the closest part of jon. sometimes this is jon's face


  * he _loves_ new people. anyone who comes to their flat is obviously here to see him, and he's very happy to accommodate that. if any visitors sit down he will be on their laps within seconds. why else would they have sat down! he's lovely and they love him, obviously


  * he hates the hoover, it's his sworn mortal enemy and one day he will kill it. this is unfortunate, as he's long-haired and fluffy and without regular intervention, all the carpet in the flat would be ginger. he can't be in the room being hoovered, as he pounces on the cable with enough murderous intent to do real damage. and after the hoovering is done he sulks


  * he sulks for _weeks_ when jon moves out


  * he is, in fact, the reason jon & georgie remain in contact, because regardless of how vicious the things they said were by the end, the admiral _pines_. he lies on what was jon's pillow and looks incredibly mournful, and georgie doesn't think it's fair if only she has to feel guilty about it, so she takes a picture and texts it to jon


  * and jon isn't any less angry yet, but dammit the admiral is his cat too, so then they have this weird unspoken agreement where they never discuss themselves but georgie sends him frequent admiral updates and every so often jon comes round and lies on the floor so the admiral can sit on his chest and knead his stomach with pointed force while scolding him at length


  * (eventually they start talking properly again) (you can pry platonic jongeorgie out my cold dead hands) (jon gets distant during s2 but prior to that they go out for coffee every couple weeks) (they text a lot. jon has to come round georgie's at least once a month or the admiral starts shredding the hoodies of his georgie has permanently stolen)


  * when georgie starts what the ghost, of course the admiral has to supervise. he likes to curl up in her lap while she records. if she stops petting him he reaches up to headbutt the mic


  * whenever he isn't on her lap he sits on top of her script / reference files / any other sheet of paper she could need to look at. he loves to sit on paper, especially paper she doesn't want him to sit on


  * the what the ghost twitter account is 30% episode announcements, articles, behind the scenes stuff, etc, and 70% admiral pictures


  * one tweet in particular has like 50k retweets. it's a video of georgie getting up mid-recording to get a drink and the admiral, sat on her desk, leaning forward to meow into the mic as if continuing what georgie was saying


  * jon is campaigning for georgie to make the admiral his own twitter account. georgie knows she'd almost immediately neglect her own twitter account and she kind of needs to keep that up for her job. jon argues that the admiral would reach people who might otherwise not check the podcast out; georgie counters that if he thinks it's such a good idea why doesn't he run it; jon points out he doesn't live with the admiral and also has a job of his own; work/life balance is a well-worn argument topic in of itself so generally then they drop it


  * and then jon is accused of murder and moves back in with georgie and the admiral is _overjoyed_ , he purrs nonstop for three straight days, he tries to lie on top of jon nonstop for three straight days, he is the single good thing in jon's life right now and jon tells him this frequently


  * then after a couple weeks jon starts to hear words, when the admiral meows, which. is a thing. sure is a thing. that is happening.


  * jon stumbles into the kitchen at 4AM, able but unwilling to sleep, on the hunt for more tea, and hears a concerned voice call “jon? jon are you okay?”, and he calls back “i'm fine i just couldn't sleep—“ before turning round and seeing stood in the doorway not georgie but the admiral, who meows again, except jon also hears “i will lie on you”, and then he has to sit on the kitchen floor for a minute


  * the admiral comes over, of course, and sits on his lap, and purrs and headbutts jon's jaw and kneads his stomach, and says “yes love you” when jon says, “thank you admiral”


  * so then jon stares into space for a bit, still stroking one of the admiral's ears, before asking, hesitantly, “have you… always understood me…?”


  * but the admiral mrrrps in that way of his that means no, and says “since you came back” so, that's good, at least jon's cat isn't walking around with a wealth of blackmail material


  * because, of course, he's the kind of loud shouty man you can keep up a conversation with, and jon and georgie both have a habit of talking through their problems with him


  * and he doesn't tell georgie, because this is before he comes clean about All Of It and also this is, in his opinion, a touch more batshit than even evil doors or women made of wax. and he talks to the admiral like he's a person and they're having a conversation anyway!


  * but, the thing is, georgie isn't an idiot, and notices that when jon asks the admiral what he did with his day, he seems to actually listen to the answer, and then knows about things that the admiral saw but jon didn't


  * so a couple days after jon finally explains about the eldritch fear beings and how he works for one and some others want to kill him, after georgie insisted they both stay in for a day, no mention of anything remotely supernatural, just rewatching monster factory and eating ben & jerrys, the day after that georgie sits down across from jon at the kitchen table and asks, “so, you know things? that's the deal, yeah?” and jon nods, not awake enough to be wary about where this could be going, and georgie adds, “things like what the admiral's saying?”


  * and jon. freezes. but georgie just rolls her eyes, says, “what, i can accept you're on a crusade to stop evil mannequins from ending the world, but you talking to the cat is too far?”, and, well, that's a good point


  * so then, as well as having very surreal conversations with the admiral about the relative merits of various brands of cat food, and his thoughts on the reasoning behind various human activities (“georgie is trying to befriend the microphone.” “no it's– the microphone isn't alive.” “georgie knows that?” “she's recording, so other people can hear what she has to say without being here.” “!!! record me!!! tell everyone to bring chicken!!!”), and why jon is an idiot fool who should never go anywhere alone again (“don't even have _claws_ , jon. take me, i will bite.” “i appreciate that, but–” “i am very sharp! i bite hard! i draw lots of blood!” “yes, you're very dangerous, and that's why i need you here, to keep georgie safe.” “i'm not _kitten_ i know you are manipulating” “i love you very much, and i promise to be more careful, okay?” “hmph.”)


  * as well as that, jon is also acting as translator for georgie — if jon's around, the admiral can understand georgie, but georgie can't understand the admiral (if the world wasn't ending, jon would find that absolutely fascinating, but alas)


  * the admiral tells them both he loves them, a lot. after they feed him, when they're petting him, but also sometimes he'll wake up from a nap, see jon sat in the other armchair (georgie's flat has two armchairs, one with big armrests she found in a charity shop that's the reading chair, one with a very low back that came with her flat and is the admiral's), say “love you jon” with great contentment, then go back to sleep. it makes jon tear up every single time


  * he's VERY upset when jon moves out. he does not agree with jon's logic at ALL, and he rants to georgie about it at length, but she can't understand him anymore


  * georgie knows the gist of it, though, and when, four days after he left, jon stops replying to her texts, or picking up her calls, she does get a touch worried, and turns up at the institute for some answers


  * she has melanie's number, of course, but melanie has also been getting worse and worse about actually responding when contacted (because she's so _angry_ , all the time, and she just wants to _hurt_ something, and georgie wants her to get out the institute, and melanie is worried what might happen if they argue about it again), so she goes in person, and finds basira


  * basira doesn't know where jon is, hasn't seen him in a while but that's nothing out the ordinary, and the only person who probably would know is elias, and elias isn't exactly… forth-coming


  * so georgie leaves without answers, and decides whatever jon's done now, he didn't see fit to tell her about it beforehand (even though, after mike crew, she made him promise), so he obviously doesn't want her help, so fine. fine! she has enough going on, without worrying about an idiot with a death wish who she definitely doesn't still care about to an alarming degree


  * she does, also, decide the institute, the– eldritch fear gods, _whatever_ , they don't get _all_ her friends. she goes back to the institute the next morning, and refuses to leave until melanie talks to her


  * melanie looks like _shit_ , visibly buzzing with rage but also with an air of deep, deep exhaustion, and she hasn't even finished asking what the hell georgie wants before georgie has grabbed her arm and is dragging her outside


  * and melanie — there's a knife in melanie's pocket (there's always a knife in melanie's pocket), but she doesn't reach for it, there's no sudden surge of mindless rage, she lets georgie drag her all the way out the institute, and into a cafe four blocks away, the one that does the pastries martin likes


  * georgie doesn't say anything about leaving the institute, or where jon is, or the unknowing. she orders them both drinks (a cinnamon latte for melanie, with extra whip cream, meaning georgie remembers her favourite drink still, which makes something in melanie feel fuzzy), and just immediately launches into a rant about this source she's trying to track down for a what the ghost episode


  * and then she keeps doing that, every week, barging her way into the institute and barging back out with melanie in tow until melanie starts replying to her texts and answering her calls and waiting for her outside


  * the admiral still thinks they should be more worried about jon, but he no longer has any way to tell georgie that, and he likes the sound of melanie


  * when jon returns from being kidnapped, he doesn't actually visit georgie, or even reply to her texts. she finds out he's back from melanie, and then has to, again, turn up at the institute and demand jon come back to the flat in person. she's incredibly angry, but not actually at jon


  * the admiral has a LOT to say when he sees jon again, mostly to the tune of “i TOLD YOU” and “georgie doesn't listen” and “weeks!!! lucky you aren't dead!!!! not safe alone!!!!!” and “idiot, idiot, love you, most idiot”. jon just sits down on the floor of georgie's entryway and lets the admiral sit on his chest and yell


  * he, of course, does not agree with jon's decision to not only leave the flat but the _country._ jon is a FOOL who will DIE doesn't he love the admiral!!! doesn't he want to stay safe!!!


  * georgie leans against the wall behind them and nods emphatically the whole time


  * once jon leaves again, the admiral is, to say the least, Upset


  * jon calls as regularly as he can, to reassure them both he's alive, and georgie starts spending more and more time with melanie


  * the admiral loves melanie. she's sharp and quick, would be good in a fight (not that he's ever seen her do any violence, cats can just tell some things), and she makes georgie happy, and she's good at ear scritches, and she doesn't know what he's saying exactly but she's pretty good at getting the gist


  * he tries to tell georgie that melanie should move in, but can't get her to understand the specifics. she does start inviting her round more, though, which is good. sometimes they talk into the microphone together, now


  * after jon returns to england and actually goes back to the archives he shows everyone who stays still long enough admiral pictures


  * mostly that means martin. and basira (basira is a cat person, thank you) (she hasn't met the admiral in person despite georgie offering because she Isn't Here To Make Friends) (but she's still very invested in him and his exploits)


  * martin will come into jon's office with tea and to check he has actually eaten today and jon will immediately go “look look come look at this” and show the video georgie sent that morning of the admiral trying to attack a fly on the other side of her bedroom window


  * “he's such an idiot” jon says fondly, and martin looks at him and thinks _i know the feeling_


  * and, also, this means jon and melanie have something to talk about that isn't a) No, Seriously, What If We Stabbed Elias, b) the circus apocalypse, or c) are you… dating my ex… 


  * melanie is not dating georgie. melanie is possibly the only person who doesn't realise she only isn't dating georgie Yet


  * melanie would probably realise she's in the first third of a slowburn friends-to-lovers if not for, y'know, the slaughter. she knows being around georgie makes the anger dissipate, somewhat, but it's not yet enough to make room for any other feelings


  * jon asks, of course, once he's been back a couple weeks, lying on the floor of georgie's living room with the admiral being a loaf on his chest while georgie sits on the sofa and edits audio


  * “so,” he says, and georgie hits pause on the audio file and raises an eyebrow, “melanie, huh?”


  * “we are only talking about that if you admit you have a crush on martin,” georgie fires back, immediately


  * and, of course, at this point jon has a) spent several hours going On And On about martin to georgie, b) listened to Those Tapes, c) gone gallivanting round the globe and thought ‘oh martin would like that' approx two hundred times, so he just says, “sure. i have a crush on martin, and once we've successfully survived preventing the world from ending, i will probably ask him out. so — melanie?”


  * georgie lets out a long, low groan, because _melanie_


  * she scrunches her nose up when she's annoyed, and she's read every goosebumps book, and one time she nearly started a fight with a guy in costa because she overheard him say something shitty about the homeless guy sat outside, and she hums old folk tunes when she's thinking


  * and elias really fucked her up with that shit about her dad, and the speed at which she jumps to violence is incredibly worrying, and if georgie doesn't remind her sometimes she forgets to eat


  * “once we successfully survive you preventing the world from ending,” georgie says, at length, “i will ask her out.”


  * jon nods. the admiral says, “been _telling her_ melanie should move in” and then makes his annoyed _mrrp_ noise when the force of jon's sudden laughter almost dislodges him onto the floor



**Author's Note:**

> and then the unknowing happens, So. may or may not cover s4 also, at some point, but marking this as complete cuz my brain is a hell thing and it wants to set all commitments on fire. also, s4 is sad! even if the admiral is there!
> 
> i am [here](http://notquiteaghost.tumblr.com) on tumblr


End file.
